Simple Language

The language you use when playing with your child makes a BIG difference in how they respond to you. If you produce long, loaded sentences or ask a lot of questions, they will struggle to understand and respond. You may just get the blank stare...

Here are some examples of what NOT to do and what TO DO INSTEAD:

DO NOT only ask simple questions. For example, when playing with a farm and animals, your language should be more than:

"What is this?

What does a cow say?

What is this?

What color is it?

What is this?"

Asking children to only label things may help them learn the words. It does not engage them in play or meaningful dialogue.

INSTEAD:

Use simple sentences to model language. For example:

"hello cow" (even better if you use a silly voice)

"Time to sleep" (model putting your animal to sleep and making a snoring sound)

"I am thirsty" "Let's drink water" (gulp gulp)

Ask open ended questions (the answer will have more than one word)

"Where should we go?"

"What are we going to do?"

DO NOT be too serious. This means your child should feel like they are playing and not just memorizing/learning. Please DO NOT just use flash cards to teach words. Your child may learn the label of a picture, but he/she is not learning much more than that. Children know when they are being tested for knowledge. Memorizing and test questions are not a fun way to play.

INSTEAD:

• Use silly voices (high pitch, low pitch, quiet, loud, imitations, etc.)

• Repeat things that make them laugh. For example, when my girls were little they could not stop laughing at my silly voice for one of the dolls that lived in our dollhouse. This old lady doll often stood on the roof and talked with the silliest voice. She was afraid of cats and would scream every time a toy cat snuck up on her. It may sound strange too you, but it was the funniest thing to my girls. EVERY TIME we played with the doll house they asked me to be the old lady. They still remember the silly doll and voice. Things that are funny are learned and remembered.

• Dance and make up silly songs (my Potato Head always sings a song and dances when I am finished building her)

• Make mistakes. I love to see the reaction when my toy cat barks or my toy fish flies.

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  
  

Do NOT use long sentences with too many words that are difficult for your child to understand. See what I did there?

INSTEAD:

Think of the age rule: use 1-2 word sentences with a one year old, use 2-3 word sentences with a two year old, use 3-5 word sentences with a 3 year old, etc.

DO NOT talk too much. Sometimes it's difficult for adults to play quietly. But if you are constantly talking and naming things, you are not giving your child a chance to talk.

INSTEAD:

• Use the ten second rule. After you say something or ask a question, count to 10 in your head. At first it will seem like a looooong time. But you will be surprised by how much more your child starts talking. They need the extra time to process and formulate something to say.

  
  
  
  

  

  
  

• When reading a book, pause after you read and turn to the next page. Wait 10 seconds again. I like to quietly point to a picture on the page and see if they child reacts or says something.

  
  

  

  
  

• Use facial expressions and gestures instead of words. For example, point to the picture of a lion in a book and make a scared face. Make eye contact with your child. This often will inspire them to say something or imitate you.

DO NOT demand that he/she speaks. I cringe when I hear someone saying "It's a dog, say dog", "say blue", "say yes ma'm" and "say thank you ma'm". This is especially true with early language learners that are not using more than 1-5 words. If a child is not yet speaking and points to a cookie and says "cookie", he is getting that cookie immediately! I say "good asking". He should not have to say "cookie please". I understand that being polite is important, but let's make those demands when children get older and have more language. And I don't know if I will ever understand the "ma'm" and "sir" rule. Unless a child is in a very formal situation, let's reward them for clearly stating what they want instead of being polite. At least when they are young and just learning to talk.

INSTEAD:

• Repeat phrases and routines several times during play. Here are some of my favorites:

  • "Ready, Set, Go" and "Stop". Sometimes when walking, suddenly say "STOP!" and stand still. Then say "ready....set....(wait and see if he says "go") GO!!

    
    
    
    

  • "One... two... three...GO!!" (before doing something)

    
    
    
    

    

    
    
    
    

  • "Uuup and Down" (making something fly or jump)

    
    

    

    
    

  • "Big and little" (using hand gestures)

    
    

    

    
    

  • "Yes" and "No" shaking your head in an exaggerated way. This is a fun song to practice "yes" and "no":

    
    

    

Remember that PLAY is FUN and LANGUAGE is learned when having FUN!!